The New Me
by CullenCrazy
Summary: The Cullens never returned for Bella. Without Edward, Bella eventually moved on. Now, she has a husband and a daughter, but what will she do if there is the slight chance that the Cullens are back in Forks? Which one will she chose, new life or dream life
1. My New Life

"Bella," a rough voice whispered in my ear, "it's time to get up." I was awake, but unwilling to open my eyes. I felt his huge hands grab my waist starting to tickle me.

"Jacob Black! You stop that right now!" I squealed, trying to hold back the peals of laughter that were threatening to escape my throat. I rolled over, attempting to escape his grasp. "Jacob, stop!" I finally gave in and my giggling filled the room.

"Better be quiet Bella, it's your turn to get up with Em." I quickly sealed my lips; the triumphant grin that spread across his face was maddening. Emma was six months, but she still didn't sleep through the night. We tried to let her sleep whenever she could. I would _not_ be the one to wake her up.

"I'm up, I'm up, Jake, just let me go!"

"Sure, sure," he said with that grin still on his face, but he did let go. I scooted over to the edge of bed and threw the sheet back. "Looks like you through the comforter off again, Bells, am I too hot for you?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Duh, who wouldn't be too _hot_ when they run a toasty 108 degrees." I leaned over the foot of the bed and pulled the green comforter back onto the bed. "What's for breakfast, Jake?"

"Hmmm... Scrambled eggs?"

"Sounds good to me!" I walked into the adjoining bathroom and pulled my hair up into a bun. My too long brown hair fell to my shoulder blades and could be quite a nuisance at times. I stared at the reflection in the mirror. My eyes looked more alive than they had in a long time, Emma probably had something to do with that, but I could still see the lifelessness that had once been there and sometimes still crept over me. I was so lost in thought that I didn't hear Jake walk back into the room.

"Bells?" He reached out and touched my shoulder. I saw him in the mirror behind me, but I still jumped.

"Sorry, even though Emma slept all night, I guess I still need more sleep." I forced a small smile on my face. I knew that he would see right through my attempt at happiness, but I also knew he would give me space and not push the subject. "I'll be in there in a few. Just gonna take a shower; that should wake me up."

"Sure, honey." Jake leaned forward and kissed me on the forehead. He made eye contact with me one more time before walking back to the kitchen of our small home.

I pulled off the pajamas that I had on and started the water to the shower. Seeing my eyes had reminded me that I had had the nightmare again. I'm sure I had probably woken Jake up with my tossing and turning, but he hadn't said anything. That day when _he_ left me still played back in my head. It haunted my thoughts sometimes, and other times, it crept into my dreams. I could never forget the disgust that was on his face when he said that he didn't want me to come with his family. I climbed into the shower and let the scalding water pound into my back. The steam began to wake me up and pull me out of my thoughts. I did this a lot less than I used to. With time, the nightmares, the reliving of it, the thoughts, had gradually slowed down. The what-ifs hadn't though. I still wondered what would have happened if I had done one thing differently. Would he still be with me? But I always pushed those thoughts away because if I was with him then I wouldn't have Emma Alice Black. She was now my life. Jacob, of course, eased the pain to a tolerable-livable level, but Emma... Emma was the reason I had begun to push away the what-ifs. I had made the conscious decision to move on, for her.

I finished up my shower and wrapped myself in a towel. I could hear Jake talking to the now awake Emma. He was cooing and doing what I called his baby talk. I threw on some clothes, sweats and a t shirt; I wasn't planning on going anywhere, and headed to the kitchen.

Emma was sitting happily in her high chair reaching for me. I quickly obliged and she snuggled her face into the crook of my neck. I patted he back and walked over toward Jake. He eyed me suspiciously, making sure that my spell from earlier had passed. I rolled my eyes and walked over to kiss him. He wrapped his arms around me and Emma, holding us tightly to him.

"Smells good!" I told him when he pulled away.

"Thanks! They are almost done," he informed me while continuing to mix the eggs in the pan. I walked over to the cabinets and pulled down two plates and carried them to the table. Emma was still drooling on my shoulder and I was glad that I had on just a t-shirt. I walked to the frige and pulled out Emma's bottle that needed to be heated and one of the baby food jars. We were starting to let her have a little of the vile smelling baby food. The smell alone made Jake and I gag, but she seemed to like it. Placing, Emma back into her chair, I looked up at Jake who was bring the pan of eggs to the table. "So, what's on tap for today?"

"Hmmm, maybe we should go see Charlie. He hasn't seen Em and almost a week!"

"That would probably be good. I can't believe he hasn't called and demanded that we bring her over yet." I was genuinely surprised that Charlie hadn't called. We drove back to Forks nearly once a week so that Charlie and Billy could see their granddaughter. Charlie was usually on the phone with me the day after we returned asking for another visit. I think Jake realized this too and we were both silent for a while.

"It's prolly nothing, Bella. Maybe he's been fishing this week, the weather has been super nice." I could tell that he was trying to not let me worry, but I knew that something wasn't right.

"Okay, Forks it is then! You ready to go see Papa, Em?" I fed her another bite of the awful smelling goo that was supposedly peaches. She cooed in response.


	2. Chapter 2

I buckled Emma's seat into the backseat. She was beginning to doze, her brown eyes, a carbon copy of mine, beginning to disappear under her eye lids. Her skin was slightly olive colored like Jake's. But it looked like mine had tainted the color just a little, making it a few shades lighter. I climbed into the front passenger seat, allowing Jake to drive as always. Jake started the car and took my hand like he always did and began to drive back to Forks.

The drive was always unbearable. It seemed that Jake had taken to concentrating on driving since we had Emma in the backseat, so little of his concentration was left to talking. I hated the silence. It gave my mind the ability to wander. Sometimes to things I wish I could forget. Today, especially, it seemed that my mind was focusing on Jacob.

_Flashback_

_"Thanks, Jake. Tonight was really fun, maybe we should go out more often. Don't get me wrong, I love hanging out at home or in your garage, but this was really nice, like a real date." I was babbling, trying to keep from having a panic attack. _

_"Bella?" Jake interrupted my monologue._

_"Mhmm?" I looked into his eyes._

_"Shut up." With that his lips were on mine. Fiery hot. Burning away the ice that had been left in my heart. The kiss didn't last long. It was a very chaste and tender kiss. One that would push me into the relationship that I didn't think was possible because I was so broken._

I smiled at the memory of our first kiss. I had just turned 17. Though Jake was still 15 he seemed almost thirty in many ways. He debated quite often that mentally he was twice my age. And honestly, I couldn't argue. He was huge. Probably twice my height and since he had been helping take care of his wheelchair bound father, Billy, he was probably more mentally prepared to take care of Emma than I was.

I glanced out of the window at the green that was rushing by. I still hated green, but I knew I could never talk Jake into leaving Washington. For some reason, the green appealed to him. He looked at me then, seeing the ghost of a smile on my face.

"Penny for your thoughts." I said, my favorite smile appearing on his face. I mentally flinched at his use of words, my mind racing to keep the wall I had built up. Jake knew about _him_ and me. He knew that we had been together and that he had left me. He also knew that I never fully recovered from losing him. I never explicitly said what he was, but Jake pretty much got the picture when he transformed into a wolf. _He _may have saved my life from James, but Jake had also saved me from Laurent and later Victoria. His pack had defeated them all, leaving me vampire free. "Bells, you okay?"

"Oh, yes, um, I was actually just thinking about our first kiss." I smiled at him and a slight blush worked its way up my neck.

"Oh, really?" He winked at me and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Jake, please!" I said eying the still sleeping Emma in the backseat.

"Oh, okay, fine." he conceded, but I could still see the glint in his eyes.

We pulled into Charlie's just before lunch time. Emma had woken in a great mood and sat in the backseat talking to herself. I was a little surprised when Charlie hadn't come to the door to great Jake and I. Jake walked up and knocked on the door. When no one answered, I carried Emma up the remaining steps to try the handle. It was unlocked. I was instantly worried. Jake tried to pull me back so that he could go in first, but I was already through the door.

"Dad?" I called, look into the kitchen and seeing no one.

"Hmm? Oh!" Charlie exclaimed startled, shooting up from the couch. "I didn't know you were coming today, and I-erm- fell asleep."

"Oh, maybe we should have called first." I looked over at Jake sheepishly.

"No, no, don't worry about it, Bella!" He walked toward the kitchen.

"Have you not eaten? I'll make you some lunch!" I handed Emma off to Charlie and headed into the familiar kitchen. I opened the cabinets, and much to my dismay, found very little ingredients to work with. "I guess we're having noodles..." I pulled the box from the shelf. "And, maybe some sauce?" I looked at Charlie hopefully.

"Oh, sure, I think that I put the spaghetti sauce in the cabinet beside the fridge."

"Spaghetti it is then!" I don't know why, but I felt the sudden need to be doing something. Having something to focus my attention on. "Why don't you and Jake take Em into the living room and watch some sports?" I suggested, not really wanting an audience.

"Sure, sure," Jake agreed, heading toward the plasma screen TV we had gotten for Charlie last year. I turned slowly and saw that Charlie was still behind me, staring at me with a look of concern on his face.

"Everything alright?" I questioned.

"Uh-um... yeah. Perfect." He fumbled through his reply and I could instantly tell he was lying. He was worse than I was when it came to telling a fib. He realized then that I had seen through his casual answer and quickly turned with Emma toward the living room where Jake already had a baseball game on. I began the pot of water for the noodles and began to fumble around the kitchen.

In about twenty minutes, I had some spaghetti sitting on the small table in Charlie's kitchen. "Food's ready," I called into the other room. Though Jake's appetite had certainly decreased since he stopped shifting, food was still one of his favorite things, and he raced into the room.

"Thanks, babe!" He exclaimed as he took a seat at the table.

"Looks good, Bella." Charlie commented as he took the set across from Jake. I sat down in between them, taking Emma from Charlie and placing her on my lap. "You not eating?" he added as he filled his plate with a helping of spaghetti.

"Nah, Jake and I just ate breakfast a couple hours ago. We go to sleep because little Miss I-Never-Sleep-When-I'm-Supposed-To slept until almost nine!" I grinned down at my daughter and she gave me a grin that slightly resembled Jake's back.

"Suit yourself, Bells." Jake said as he put a forkful of food into his mouth. We sat quietly for a few minutes, me playing with Emma's slightly curly hair while she was drooling and chewing on her fingers. The boys stayed silent, mostly because their mouths were always full.

"So, Dad, what has the grand town of Forks been up to?" I asked, trying to fill the growing silence.

Charlie looked up quickly and almost grimaced. "Nothing too major. Same old, same old."

I was growing more suspicious every time he spoke. "Nothing? Come on, you didn't even call demanding Emma today like normal." I tried to sound like I was teasing, but I'm pretty sure Charlie heard the unspoken accusation there.

"Nope, nothing huge, Bells. Just been a busy week at the office. A lot of paperwork to fill out." _Come on_, did he really expect me to buy that. This is Forks we're talking about.

"Hmm. Sounds like fun." I added, pretending that I wasn't too interested.

"Sure is. It'll probably be another busy week, I might come up to you and Jake's to escape this town for a day." He stood up to take his plate to the sink. "And I'll do the dishes later, Bells."

Jake had sat silently through the meal, but I could tell by the look on his face that he knew something was up too. He met my gaze and tried to wipe the look of concern from his face; he turned his grimace into a half-hearted grin.

"Back to the game, Jake?" Dad asked, though he was already headed back to the other room.

Jake and I both got up, me carrying Emma, into the other room. Jake plopped down onto the couch and Charlie was already in the chair. I held Emma to my chest as I scooted next to Jake. The game was fairly boring to me, and the nights of staying up with a baby were catching up to me. I yawned and tried to hide it with my arm, but Jake grinned and put his arm around me. As the game continued, I sank lower and lower onto the couch until I was eventually laying on Jake's lap with Emma asleep on my chest. I was in and out of consciousness when I thought I heard the announcer say that the game was just about over. Before I could sit up, Charlie spoke up.

"Is she asleep, Jake?" he queried.

"Looks like it," Jake responded.

"No, not Emma, Bella."

"Um, yeah, she hasn't really slept through a night since Emma got here. She's pretty exhausted."

"Jake-" Charlie was cut off when what sounded like a roar came from the TV.

"The Jets did it; they pulled it off!" I could hear the announcer exclaiming as I began to drift again. I was about to the point where I knew the dream would start. The same one that I always have, when Charlie started talking again, and I forced myself to listen.

"Jake, they are back." Charlie said, his voice strained but barely over a whisper.

"What? Who's back?" Jake asked confusion in his voice.

"_They_ are back." Charlie filled the word they with as much venom and hatred as he could. Something I'd only heard him come close to when he was referring to the Cul-. I stopped my mind from thinking the name.

* * *

><p>AN

Hello readers!

I really like what I have going with this story and what I have planned for it! Please leave a review. Tell me what you liked, didn't like etc.

Thanks,

CullenCrazy


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